Words I Wish I could Say

You looked me in the eyes and laughed in my face

Your a bloody wreck every breath you take is a mistake

I hate your laugh hate the very presence of your life

I hate each thing about you What i’d give to see you cry

Once was i stupid put you up so high without a doubt

Yet we let the worst get ahead of us now stuck in a drought

I wanna be sorry wanna make all these little things right

But when you throw feelings around like nothing its a sure shot for a fight

Who the fuck do you think you are pushing me around like a piece of shit

God there is so much that you dont deserve you worthless fucking bitch

I hate the way you treat things like everything involves whats right for you

I hope one day your stuck in a ditch not knowing what to do

Or even better a horrible sudden death

One that no one hears about leaving you in a shattered wreck

You see you’re a one of a kind piece of cold hearted soul no one can be worse than you

But its okay because one day the world will turn dark and lonely and you wont know what to do

2:45 am

It’s like my mind has an alarm that goes off right when I shut my eyes to go to bed you haunt me and it’s scary I can’t escape it why me?

Just A Thought

Every now and again i find myself stuck, Caught sinking into these memories, it usually happens right before i close my eyes to sleep and just like that a wave of hurt and agony surround me, they crowd around my bed and im stuck there staring them in the face they know no time or feeling they each have their own personal message of pain and like an orchestra they each play their hymn of gloominess each one of them present a different weapon a different poison to hurt me with to infect me with and im sitting there scared for my life i dont quite know how to battle these demons but im slowly working on it i just find it hard to fight something that isnt physical but mental i can close my eyes and go to sleep and they will still haunt my dreams with unforgiving determination yet when i open them i find myself completely unharmed its like my mind is out to get me at times and the worst part of it all is that each pain that i see comes from a single person no matter how elaborate the scheme may be it can be boiled down to a single core being and thats what gets me so much rage and anxiety build up from that single ounce of information that one person can cause so much distrust and disbelief in another i dont know really its just a thought but still the world outside is scary but the world inside is even scarier because the possibilities are endless and the mind has no boundries of hurt only truth

Reblog this post if you ever starved or cut yourself. If you ever felt not good enough, if you’ve been called ugly, or fat or even too thin. If you’ve been pushed out of someone’s life, not knowing why. If you’ve ever cried yourself to sleep. I will message each and everyone one of you to show you how special and beautiful you are.

(Source: i-guess-im-a-fantasy, via thistooxxshallpass)